Never Again
by hobbitgrl
Summary: Takes place during Escaped.  Gibbs comes to Abby for a place to stay and old feelings conflict with new hurt.


-1Never Again

This takes place during the events of "Hiatus: Part II"

Disclaimer: I own no part of NCIS or its characters.

Abby turned away from her door, leaving it open behind her.

"I guess that means I can come in," Gibbs drawled before entering and locking the door behind him.

"You can always stay here Gibbs," she tossed over her shoulder. "You wouldn't be here if you didn't know that. But that doesn't mean I'm happy to see you." She finished as she came back into the living room from her bedroom, sheets, blankets, and pillows in her arms.

"I've got terminates," Gibbs explained.

"Not surprising," Abby said, dropping her load on the chair next to the couch. "You aren't exactly keeping the place up."

They were both quiet for awhile as Abby turned the couch into a makeshift bed. It was Gibbs who finally broke the silence.

"So you're mad at me too uh?"

"Mad?" Abby mused, pausing in her bed making, "I'd have to still care about you to be mad wouldn't I?"

"Ouch Abbs," Gibbs whispered.

"Well what do you expect Gibbs?" Abby almost yelled. She was trying to keep it together. It was easy at work when she could pretend he was still Gibbs, her Gibbs, but here in her living room, alone-she had never been so acutely aware that her Gibbs was gone. "You're gone; you're here. You're gone; you're here on temporary assignment. Soon you'lll be gone again and there will be no goodbye. There will be no contact. There will be nothing. But that's okay right? Cause you're already gone. You never really came back." Abby spun away as she finished. She would not let him see her cry. She had shed enough tears over this.

"I had to go Abbs," Gibbs said quietly behind her. "I hoped you could understand that."

"Do you remember Gibbs?" she asked softly, still facing away from him. "Do you remember any of it?"

She felt him step up behind her, felt his arms encircle her and his breath on her neck as he whispered, "Yes."

Abby nearly lost it in that moment. Whether to jump him, punch him, or cry she couldn't have said. But the feel of him pressed against her, his new beard scraping her neck, his arms just beneath her breasts was almost more than she could take. When his hand moved up and brushed her breast Abby lost control. She spun around-and punching him won out.

With a sob she hauled off and slammed her fist into his jaw. His face was astonished and hurt, but he didn't let her land a second strike. Blocking her, Gibbs placed his foot behind hers and pushed, tackling her down onto the couch. He had her arms pinned in a second, but his face was anguished not angry.

"Abbs! Abby," he said to her. Abby's anger shifted again and between one angry sob and the next she leaned up and began kissing him. All of her hurt, all of her anger, all of her longing when into that kiss. Gibbs responded immediately, his hold changing from one of restraint to something else entirely. Abby knew it wasn't his badge this time.

They broke the kiss only to get their shirts off. Abby gasped into Gibbs' mouth as his callused hand found her nipple, coaxing it into a hard peak straining for his mouth. Her head fell back against the couch as his beard scraped her skin. He bit her nipple gently, responding to her moans, increasing his pressure as her arousal spiked.

When she felt his hand dip underneath her shorts, finding and rubbing her clit, Abby arched off the couch. His mouth and hand created a net of sensation pulsating across her body and Abby screamed as it coalesced, centering under his finger then exploding outward in waves across her skin.

Before she could process anything, Gibbs whipped her shorts off and came back down to kiss her again. She could fee him straining against his pants. She reached down and freed him, felt his heartbeat in her hand and laughed when he moaned into her mouth.

"Abby," he growled.

"Shh," Abby whispered, placing him at her entrance. "Now Gibbs. Right now."

He held still for an instant until Abby stroked up the underside of him with one hand-she used just enough nail to make him lose control. With a roar Gibbs' hips slammed forward impaling Abby and ramming her back into the couch.

Reaching down, Abby rubbed herself, coming again almost instantly. Gibbs grabbed her hands, pinning them above her head and swallowed her screams into himself as he pushed his mouth against her own. Between one second and eternity his hands spasmed around hers and his hips bucked. His head pulled back, his neck cording as he poured into Abby; her body still squeezing his own.

When it was over they lay there, quiet, panting, and sweaty. Gibbs was cradled by Abby, held softly by her body. This was why he was afraid to stay but couldn't stay gone. This moment when Abby's body held his own made the rest of his miserable life bearable. A man could live for this one moment.

Pulling his head up he kissed her gently, holding her head with his hands. Gibbs pulled back suddenly when he felt and tasted tears.

"Abbs?" he whispered.

Pushing him up Abby stood and wrapped the blanket around herself. Quietly, clinging tenaciously to a shred of control, Abby asked him, "You're not staying are you? With NCIS I mean."

Gibbs stood, buckling his pants and looking down.

"I…no," he finally answered. He had never promised anything. She had always known that. But somehow, right now, he could find no comfort in that.

"I think you better stay somewhere else," Abby told him.

Gibbs ran down the list of people he knew. Ducky hated him; Tony would annoy him. Definitely not McGee. Jenny was out.

"I'll call Fornell," he said.

"Good," Abby answered, turning back towards her bedroom. "This can never happen again."

"Abby," Gibbs began hesitantly, "tomorrow-"

"Oh Gibbs," she cut him off. "You should know by now that no one will ever know. At least, not from me."

"I'm sorry Abbs," Gibbs whispered, bending down and picking up his bag.

"Whatever," Abby told him. "One more thing, though. If you try to leave without solving this case-especially if this guy is innocent-I will personally put out a Bolo on you."

Gibbs nodded before walking out of the apartment. Abby locked the door behind him, then crumpled to the floor. She would cry tonight and tomorrow no one would even suspect. This Abby no one ever saw. No one but Gibbs, and now Gibbs was gone.


End file.
